Sermons

“Be Angry, But Do Not Sin”

Ephesians 4:25—5:2; Excerpts from Proverbs – Rev. Rebecca Littlejohn

Vista La Mesa Christian Church (Disciples of Christ), La Mesa, California – August 12, 2018

Holy God, bless the speaking and the hearing of these words that we might welcome the tenderness of your Holy Spirit and opens our hearts to your transforming love. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.

I am not the one who decided to list the sermon in our service bulletin as “The Good News,” but I’m glad someone did. I went to seminary when concepts like “hermeneutic of suspicion” and “texts of horror” were prominent in our approach to scripture. And yet, in the midst of that healthy dose of critical analysis, my preaching professors reminded us continually that, as preachers, our job was to find the good news and share it with people. I’m grateful to have this reminder every week. Because today, I have a sermon for you that’s all about anger. And yet, somehow, we’re going to find the good news too.

I’m not sure I’ve ever given a sermon about anger before, which is kind of surprising. The Bible has plenty to say about anger, and it’s clearly an issue that is relevant to our lives on a daily basis. So I guess it’s high time we talk about it. The bottom line is that anger is tricky. I would guess that there are very few people in this room who don’t have a complicated relationship with anger. We should note, as we begin, that in many ways, the freedom to express anger is a privilege. Many people have been taught from an early age that they are not allowed to be angry and certainly not allowed to show it if they are. For women and people of color, anger has been much more harshly regulated than for men or white people. This has made experiencing it that much more complicated. For people who grew up in homes with violence and abuse, anger can be very traumatic, triggering difficult memories and responses that may be out of proportion to what is currently happening.

So whether anger is something that comes a little too freely for you, or something you generally try to avoid altogether, it’s complicated. And that’s a pretty good sign that it’s worth looking into. We read two scripture passages this morning that touch on anger. The first bit of good news is that both readings seem to acknowledge that anger is a normal, human experience. The various verses from Proverbs encourage us to be “slow to anger” and capable of controlling our tempers. The wisdom writer is concerned with avoiding the unfortunate consequences of acting out of anger. But they don’t try to argue that anger itself should be forbidden. There is an unspoken recognition that anger is an inevitable and normal human experience.

The passage we heard from Ephesians begins with a verse about being truthful and then turns immediately to anger. “Be angry but do not sin,” it says. Coming right after the exhortation to speak the truth to one another, it’s almost as if Paul wants to discourage us from pretending we’re not angry when we really are. Again, it’s not the feeling itself that is dangerous, but the potential consequences, should we let our anger dictate our behavior. Simply feeling angry isn’t sinful; it’s just human. Do you see how this is good news? Once again, scripture is helping us make space within the Christian life for something we experience on a daily basis, something we’ve often been simplistically taught is just bad. Christianity is for humans! Hurrah!

The next thing I’d like to look at this morning is the many varieties of anger that the scriptures name. In Ephesians, we read about bitterness, wrath, anger, wrangling, slander and malice. If you look at that same passage in different translations, you can add these to the list: spite, rage, passion, resentment, clamouring, quarreling, brawling, angry shouting and cursing, insulting talk, insults and bad feeling. The writer of Proverbs might add harshness, hot-temperedness and scoffing. Did you ever realize how many words we have for this? We could add more: grumbling, carping, sniping, snapping, sarcasm, silent treatment, and just plain mad.

To some degree, the variety of words is influenced by the variety of ways of expressing anger that we have. Some of these words speak to anger coming forth through speech. Some of them are more directly about physical violence. Some of them are minor forms of anger, like bad feeling or malice; and some of them are obviously dramatic like wrath and rage. Some of them are reactive anger, and some of them are slow-burning. There’s something for everyone here! Have you heard your go-to form of anger listed yet?

Reflecting on how many different kinds of anger there are can help us remember an even deeper truth, that there are also many different reasons and sources for anger. If we can manage to hold our anger still long enough to examine it a little bit, we can learn important truths about ourselves. Much anger is simply the result of being over-tired or stressed. When you start yelling those rude things at the other people on the highway instead of muttering them, it might be a sign that what you really need to do is drive yourself home and take a nap. Sometimes that’s all it takes. Today’s passage from Ephesians is where we get the aphorism that we shouldn’t let the sun go down on our anger. I actually think that’s terrible advice if taken literally. Sometimes it’s true that conflicts need to be resolved so that everyone can get a good night’s sleep. But it’s just as often true that a good night’s sleep can resolve a conflict all on its own. Things often look different in the light of the morning sun, through the eyes of a human who got some rest. We know this about small children, and yet, we often forget that it’s just as true about ourselves.

Sometimes a nap alone will do the trick. But often, anger is a disguised expression of something deeper. Often anger is masking fear or greed. Many of the forms of anger listed in the scripture readings are expressions of jealousy or discontent, which are largely rooted in insecurity. And perhaps the most serious thing to watch for is when anger is a replacement for some grief we’re desperately trying to avoid to feeling. While, for some, anger is the scariest feeling to have, for others, it’s way more familiar and comfortable than a lot of the other feelings that make up the human experience.

Now remember, the beginning of the good news is that all of those feelings – especially the scary, uncomfortable ones – are part of what it is to be human. And Christianity is for humans. We don’t have to pretend we’re not feeling whatever we’re feeling. We don’t have to squash those things down into some inaccessible corner of our psyche. “Speak the truth,” says Paul. Be fully yourself. Have your feelings. Just don’t let them have you. As others have said, God loves us just as we are, wherever we are, and God loves us enough to not leave us there.

Anger in all its many forms, with all its many sources is one very good reason for the existence of Christian spiritual disciplines. It is not easy to overcome our emotions and keep them from leading us into behaviors that violate our values and beliefs. It takes practice. The Christian practice of regular self-examination – what we might sometimes call confession or simply reflection or even journaling – can help us identify the sources of any anger we’re feeling. Is there something it makes sense to be angry about? Or are we tired, or scared, or grieving?

A regular practice of confession can also help with that “sun going down on our anger” thing. It’s actually very helpful advice, if taken metaphorically. Paul follows that line up by saying “do not make room for the devil.” I think this is his nod to what happens when we decide to stew in our anger. Metaphorically, letting the sun go down on our anger means that we sit up all night rehearsing it and letting it fester into something bigger than it deserves. If instead, we enter into confessional prayer, we will often discover our own culpability in the conflict that is distressing us. We will re-discover that we too, just like our supposed adversaries are fallible human beings who mess up. We will, in the course of confessional prayer, bump back into that old friend, the mercy of God, and as we receive it, it will flow freely through us once again. This is what it means to not “make room for the devil.” Where the mercy of God is, there is no space for the devil, because the mercy of God is an ever-flowing fountain.

As we noted, a few of the varieties of anger mentioned in our scripture readings are the sort that physically hurt people. This is also a problem that practicing our faith can help with. The violence that sometimes results from anger is an acting out of an extreme sense of separation. Christian practices – including worship such as we’re engaged in this morning, especially sharing in the Lord’s Supper, but also joint service to those in need or Bible study or communal prayer – help us remember that we are all one body, connected in real and intimate ways to each other, which makes us much less likely to hurt others.

Did you hear those other words at the end of the reading from Ephesians? Just before summing it up by calling us to be imitators of God, Paul exhorts us to be kind, tender-hearted and forgiving. We know what the opposite of anger looks like. We’ve seen it. We’ve been it. It’s just hard to get there sometimes. The good news is that there is hope for those who struggle with anger. We do not have to get trapped in shame and assume we might as well give up. The presence and witness of Christ can transform our hearts, if we will do the careful work of seeking it out and opening ourselves to that power. God loves us just as we are, and will not leave us stuck where we are. This is good news. Alleluia and Amen!