Devotional Messages

Proverbs 17:9, 14 – One who forgives an affront fosters friendship, but one who dwells on disputes will alienate a friend. … The beginning of strife is like letting out water; so stop before the quarrel breaks out.  (NRSV)

Every once in a while, I like to turn to the book of Proverbs, to see what wise words I can glean.  Today’s selections focus on personal relationships and the nature of conflict.  The negative energy of conflict can take on a life of its own with just the slightest nudge in that direction from us.  This is a reality that we frequently deny to our own detriment.

There may be a legitimate reason why you were originally upset with someone.  But often, if we don’t let things go as soon as possible, the conflicts become much more about pride and who was right and what is fair than about the original problem.  This is what the writer of Proverbs is describing as “letting out water”; once you’ve spilled it, you can’t control where it goes and it’s going to seep into every crack it finds.  Yet, when we’re caught up in a conflict, we often fail to recognize that it’s grown well beyond any reasonable gripe.

The truth is that all our relationships require thousands of tiny gifts of forgiveness every day.  If you wanted to go through life feeling horribly slighted and aggrieved every day, you could find reason to do so.  But you will also end up pretty lonely.  Instead, we remind ourselves that we may not have been clear about our needs, that the curt answer probably had more to do with the speaker’s own worries than us, or that it’s possible we are mistaken.

How do we tap into the grace that is required to sustain our relationships?  The easiest way is to keep the lines of communication open with God.  Doing so helps us remember how often we ourselves are in need of grace, how often we make mistakes, and what a blessing it is to be continually forgiven.  God is fostering friendship with us, through the constant mercy he gives us.  We can aim to do the same.

Collect for the Week:  Gracious, Loving God, whose mercy is a life-giving stream, grant that we might embody your grace in all our relationships, that our lives might be a witness to your love and a light unto the world.  Through Christ Jesus and the Holy Spirit, Amen.